It was going to be the “other weekend” of my parenting schedule. I’d drop Reese off at daycare before school on Friday and she’d be with her dad until I pick her up Monday after school at day care!
A weekend to do what I want with no parental obligations… Perfect! I started planning to get things done that’s easier when she’s away…
Beauty parlor (yes I sound like I’m 85 calling it that but that’s just always what I’ve done 😁) Saturday morning-perfect Reese wouldn’t want to hang out there-she’d be bored!
Waking up whenever I want to- 6:45 on weekdays she is so sleepy-6:45 on weekends she’s wide awake!!!
John and I have a wedding Saturday night but no need to hunt down a babysitter!
Sunday shopping for the weeks groceries can be done quick and without the mandatory visit to toys with Reese!
Time to do all those little things that I need to do but I put off so I can spend time with her!
It’s gonna be great! I’m so excited to have some ME time! I deserve it!
UNTIL….
Friday morning and she kisses me goodbye and says “I love you mommy!” Followed by blowing me a kiss as I drive away!!
My heart starts to ache and that lump appears in my throat. I want her with ME all weekend… she should be with ME… you don’t need that ME time-you’re a mom you should be with her..
She’s been to the beauty parlor with me before and is fine. She talks to everyone and gets some screen time on my phone-she loves that!
And lately she has been sleeping in on the weekends and when she does get up early I get snuggles in my bed!
I have two sisters and two nieces who love to have her over.. finding a sitter for the wedding would be a piece of cake and Reese would love being with her cousins.
Reese makes Sunday shopping fun and we barely spend anytime in the toys really and we have the time what’s the problem with that?
And really I do get time to get things done as she likes to have her own time too and her buddy Ella probably would come by for a play date…
Why can’t I just enjoy this time?
This is her and her dads time.
They have fun plans.
She is with me 75% of the time and even more lately as her dad has been working out of town. You spend plenty of time with her!
She is not lacking love, time or attention from you
Happens every week leading up to the “other weekend”. And just like every “other weekend” I will end up enjoying my weekend and so will she and before I know it I’ll be picking her up Monday after school but not until I fight off my mommy guilt or whatever you call it as I drive to work “every other Friday” morning.
I am empathetic to your feelings of to be or not to be. I get the need for “me” time. Please don’t feel guilty-you have to take care of your needs from time to time too. It’s ok. She’ll love you all the more when you’re back together.
This sounds hard! I suspect, though, that as you suggest, it will be Monday before you know it, and you will be fine, and she will be fine! Have fun at the wedding!
I can remember those days as if they were yesterday. You are definitely not alone in feeling guilty about splitting the time with your daughter and having the nerve to enjoy the time away. Doesn’t mean you are a bad mommy at all. Mother’s are the only people who feel guilty for having any type of fun and joy that does not involve motherhood. It will get easier with time. Her weekends with her dad are special for her and him. She’s having fun and she is with her other parent, who’s also supposed to be responsible for her wellness and safety. That means when she’s with him, you can breathe easy. This is your free time, your blessed treat that not all mother’s get. Take it, enjoy it, don’t apologize for it. You’re allowed 🙂
Thanks savena! I appreciate hearing those words ❤️
Well said. You have a love for your daughter that I can’t wait to have with my kids. When do you finally stop having this mom guilt.
I loved this post Lori! The transition from feeling like woohoo, I have a little me time, to the heartache of missing sweet Reese. So well written; I felt your heart in this post. I do hope that you enjoy your weekend and embrace the little bit of me time, guilt free.
I know these weekend feelings very well. Such a hard job. Your post describes it perfectly from the initial feelings to when it actually is happening. I want to say it will go away but it never will. You are a good momma. Sunday’s are the best days. The days they come home. ❤️