This weekend I was confronted with the two emotions that come with being a working mother.  Guilt and sadness because I miss out on things and happiness and pride because I have raised a loving, independent daughter thus far.

It was my choice to be a working mom- I knew that I would be a better mom if I worked.  I am lucky because being a teacher I do have the summer and holidays off.  There is winter break and spring break.  So I kind of get the best of both worlds.  But during the “current world”, I am a full time working mom.

I am very lucky to have a great sitter and a great friend who helps me get my daughter to and from preschool three times a week.    Her son is in the same class and if kids are playing after school or going to the park she brings Reese along so she gets those opportunities too.  I am so very grateful to her.

On Friday my friend and I were talking and when I asked her how school was going she mentioned how fun and cute it is to see all the kids play together after school..  How when they leave each other they all hug and act like they won’t see each other forever.  She said that a lot of times she thinks, “I wish Lori (me) could see Reese playing with the kids.”

That made me sad.  It made me feel guilty.  I wish I got to pick her up from school and see her hug and play with the kids.  I wish I got to be computer helper on Mondays.  I wish I got to here all the funny things the teacher shares about the kids every day when parents come pick them up.

The sadness and guilt lingered throughout the weekend.

Then Sunday rolled around and I took Reese to her first kid birthday party at a gymnastics place.  Right away she  left me on the sidelines to play with the kids.  When the parents had an opportunity to go in the gym with them or just watch from the window, she requested I watch from the window- she’s got this.

One little boy was struggling.  He did not want to join the rest of the kids in the gym.  Everyone tried to coax him to go in and play.  They invited him to just go sit and watch.  He wanted nothing to do with this.  He just wanted Mommy.  After awhile he still does not want to join in at all.

I over hear Mom tell another parent, “He is like this all the time.  He will not do anything without me. He has always been with just me and now he struggles to be away from me.”

The mom eventually decided to take the boy home.  I felt sad for both of them.

Then I looked back at Reese; playing and having a great time.  Looking over at me every now and again and smiling and waving.

She is independent enough to be away from me and get so many more opportunities because of it.  She feels secure that if Mommy is okay with it then she can be too. This made me feel happy and proud.

I contribute this to her being away from me and the careful decisions I made when deciding who she is left with.

My sadness and guilt that were still lingering in the back of my mind from Friday were finally gone.  I know that working moms can be great moms too and they can have great kids and give their kids a lot just like moms that stay at home.  I work, Reese is doing great and that works for our family and that’s all that matters.